Black Fear Antidote
I remember watching my son take his first steps and being filled with wonder as he learned how to control his legs to move from one place to another, albeit wobbly. Shortly afterwards, I worried about him running and falling and scraping his knees and bumping his head into sharp countertop edges and going to the hospital.
Black fear.
The night before my wedding day, while waiting to fall asleep, I replayed the highlight reel of how our dinner rehearsal with our closest loved ones transformed into a wine induced karaoke/dance party in the bridal suite. Suddenly a pang of worry hit and hurt me - what if my soon-to-be wife decides to leave me and all this love, time, and money are wasted.
Black fear.
The opposite of Black joy is not sadness, but fear - fear of loss, fear of scarcity, fear of unworthiness. This country, this environment makes the practice of Black joy difficult because those sudden worries often creep into one’s mental space, robbing one’s ability to be fully present in a joyous moment.
Pool parties. Running for exercise. Birdwatching. Playing in park.
Moments synonymous with relaxation, love, and freedom can become a place of humiliation, trauma, and even death. The fear is real. The fear is present. And the fear can be vanquished.
One antidote to Black fear is to actively practice Black joy, an open-heartedness to fully and authentically experience that moment. I find that my practice necessitates gratitude, a count of the awesomeness that is present in that moment. Repeat to oneself: “I am worthy. As is. I am grateful for this moment because…” This simple and powerful reminder centers one’s worthiness as one way to fight against the fear that too often steals our joy.
Remember, you are worthy. As is. Because you are enough.
