Be a Dope Ancestor
My mother impressed two indelible ideas about parenting and family on me. The first, “all parents want their child to have a ‘better’ life than they did,” would often come at the end of a story, highlighting her sacrifices to ensure, as best as she could, that my brothers and me had opportunities and experiences that she may not have had. The second idea, “I am a reflection of her,” could be shared during celebration or chastisement; it contained the multitudes of “That’s my son” to “You better act right.” Regardless of the occasion, who I presented to others - my integrity, my stubbornness, my compassion, my moodiness - signaled to the world how I was raised. When people experience me, in many ways, they are encountering her.
Armed with this these family axioms, I approach parenting similarly. I work as hard as I do to provide my son with a life that is “better” than mine. To clarify, I understand that “comparison is the thief of joy,” so when I share that I want my son to have a “better” life, I am not judging my life, which has been filled with challenges and unconditional love. Instead, I imagine how I can set him up to be his best self. I dream that he explores his passions and they fulfill him in the ways that he wants. And I hope that the joy he experiences and shares with others reflects what he’s learned from being my son and living in our household.
I’ve been blessed to have people say heartwarming, generous things about me. I humbly accept the compliments and smile because they should see my family. My Momma is dope. My Granny is dope. And I fantasize that one day my future descendants can add me to that dope lineage.
